Curing the 'victim mentality'
A few days ago I published a letter sent in by a guy named Lee F.
Lee’s letter was all about “less fortunate” America, millionaire’s being born with silver spoon’s in their mouths, and the usual “it’s somebody else’s fault I’m not rich” babble.
I’ve reprinted the letter below, plus an interesting response from one of my subscribers.
hello my name is Lee F.
I would like to lease your product and also speak up for less fortunate america. I think you should treat each case different, because you seem to be stuck in million dollar america lost. what because these people have not started your business gives you the right to show up on people's e-mail and call names to
people whom you know not. maybe you've had that silver spoon shoved up your
--- to see people are struggling here. you are sad to me and you don't deserve to be where you are right now because you have no respect for people or life. If your pocket is tight the rich man is gonna say you ain't good enough. well i have something money can't buy, it's more valuable than a million dollars! I bet you want me to tell you what it is? well your rich pay someone to tell you the answer!
Subscriber’s response:
Mr. X…
Do you know of any way to address the envy and self pity of the "Victim"mentality this person exhibited in his plaintive letter to you? Much of his problem is obviously a lack of formal education but it goes deeper than that. Nothing can be cured unless this victim mentality is ameliorated in some way.
Lyola
Mr. X: Lyola, thanks for the response—you are quite correct in the fact that nothing will change for anyone until they get rid of the victim mentality. The way to do this, actually pretty easy—you just realize that EVERTHING is your fault, and you start taking action to correct it. If everything that happens to you is your fault, that means you have control over everything—if it’s not your fault, then someone else has control over your outcomes, and that is a very scary thing.
I know, I know, this is easier said than done, especially when it comes to financial success. While it’s a skill that can be mastered, it can take a lot of time, energy and effort, and can be daunting to people who aren’t comfortable with the process of mastering a skill. What I recommend people do is first master the process of building a skill, any skill. It could be a hobby, it could be getting in shape, it could be public speaking, it could be playing a game, anything. What you want to do is start with zero skills in a simple to master area, then go through the process of mastering that skill. Once you do that, you’ll know how to build a skill, a process that is transferable to any area, whether it’s playing golf or making money. A neat side effect is, it also builds confidence, taking the fear and mystery out of an area, and replacing it with a step by step process you’re familiar with.
I will disagree with you in one area, and that’s a lack of “formal education.” I’d say a “lack of education,” but not formal. What is taught in college (and I have a degree in Electrical Engineering, so I can speak about this) is just about flat out useless in the real world. You can’t learn to be a millionaire in college, you have to embark on a course of “informal education” learning from those who have actually achieved that goal. Most millionaires I know don’t have a college degree, yet they are some of the most educated people on the planet when it comes to “real world.” College is useful (and fun) for forming social relationships, but what’s actually taught there is irrelevant at best, dangerous at worst. After I graduated with my EE degree (and a 3.1 GPA), I discovered I knew just as much about electronics as I did when I got to school—a scary thought after investing 5 years of my life (5 fun years, though!). It’s what I learned after I escaped from college that allowed me to become successful.
Let’s get to it…
Lee’s letter was all about “less fortunate” America, millionaire’s being born with silver spoon’s in their mouths, and the usual “it’s somebody else’s fault I’m not rich” babble.
I’ve reprinted the letter below, plus an interesting response from one of my subscribers.
hello my name is Lee F.
I would like to lease your product and also speak up for less fortunate america. I think you should treat each case different, because you seem to be stuck in million dollar america lost. what because these people have not started your business gives you the right to show up on people's e-mail and call names to
people whom you know not. maybe you've had that silver spoon shoved up your
--- to see people are struggling here. you are sad to me and you don't deserve to be where you are right now because you have no respect for people or life. If your pocket is tight the rich man is gonna say you ain't good enough. well i have something money can't buy, it's more valuable than a million dollars! I bet you want me to tell you what it is? well your rich pay someone to tell you the answer!
Subscriber’s response:
Mr. X…
Do you know of any way to address the envy and self pity of the "Victim"mentality this person exhibited in his plaintive letter to you? Much of his problem is obviously a lack of formal education but it goes deeper than that. Nothing can be cured unless this victim mentality is ameliorated in some way.
Lyola
Mr. X: Lyola, thanks for the response—you are quite correct in the fact that nothing will change for anyone until they get rid of the victim mentality. The way to do this, actually pretty easy—you just realize that EVERTHING is your fault, and you start taking action to correct it. If everything that happens to you is your fault, that means you have control over everything—if it’s not your fault, then someone else has control over your outcomes, and that is a very scary thing.
I know, I know, this is easier said than done, especially when it comes to financial success. While it’s a skill that can be mastered, it can take a lot of time, energy and effort, and can be daunting to people who aren’t comfortable with the process of mastering a skill. What I recommend people do is first master the process of building a skill, any skill. It could be a hobby, it could be getting in shape, it could be public speaking, it could be playing a game, anything. What you want to do is start with zero skills in a simple to master area, then go through the process of mastering that skill. Once you do that, you’ll know how to build a skill, a process that is transferable to any area, whether it’s playing golf or making money. A neat side effect is, it also builds confidence, taking the fear and mystery out of an area, and replacing it with a step by step process you’re familiar with.
I will disagree with you in one area, and that’s a lack of “formal education.” I’d say a “lack of education,” but not formal. What is taught in college (and I have a degree in Electrical Engineering, so I can speak about this) is just about flat out useless in the real world. You can’t learn to be a millionaire in college, you have to embark on a course of “informal education” learning from those who have actually achieved that goal. Most millionaires I know don’t have a college degree, yet they are some of the most educated people on the planet when it comes to “real world.” College is useful (and fun) for forming social relationships, but what’s actually taught there is irrelevant at best, dangerous at worst. After I graduated with my EE degree (and a 3.1 GPA), I discovered I knew just as much about electronics as I did when I got to school—a scary thought after investing 5 years of my life (5 fun years, though!). It’s what I learned after I escaped from college that allowed me to become successful.
Let’s get to it…
<< Home